My Interpretation of an Interview That Never Happened and Apple Cake

Has anyone else ever had this happen? Wait, let me tell you. I received a voicemail from someone that I haven’t seen or heard from since highschool (besides a chat on facebook a few years ago). Rumor has it, plus I have firsthand knowledge, that this person has a “business” that somehow revolves around being a superb Christian (don’t ask me) and “making dreams come true through financial freedom.” I understand that I was somewhat quiet and too nice back in the day, which might have lead this person to believe I am an idiot….I hate when being nice is confused with being a moron. Momma didn’t raise no fool, folks.

Anyway, a message from this person to get me into his cult-like business/pyramid scheme….again. Sadly this is not the first time someone involved in a pyramid scheme has attempted to meet/speak with Greg and I. The really sad part is that several of these contacts were people that I thought had common sense in high school. Now, they are trying to peddle their goods on me…do I look like a lost soul? You probably can’t gather the answer to that since you don’t really know me beyond what I post (or what you search about me). I’ll answer that-no, I’m perfectly sound in reality, as sound as the next person. (Chuckling to myself.) This brings me to another message I received this morning.

I have an account that includes a background check (that I paid to have done), references and a resume on a website that connects caregivers with jobs in several forms like daycare, running errands for the elderly, pet care and things along that line. Nothing has come from this for me, even though I have been contacted many times…people seem to forget they have an account and don’t reply.

This morning, I have a message that I am in the running to care for someone’s cat while they vacation (stopping by twice a day to feed, water and clean the poo if needed) and I am supposed to call a number to set up an interview within their home. An interview? An interview not over the phone for something like this? To find out if I can put cat food in the dish? To see how I handle a pooper scooper? To see if the cat and I jive? Why ? (Did I mention this requires me to drive 35 to 40 minutes away a few times a day and this person knows this?) Look at Sophie and Izzy below, the family cats back home.

Here’s how I picture the interview: the owner tells me exactly how to feed the cat and refill the water dish, then asks me to do it, all while he or she is watching over my shoulder, taking notes. Next, I’m saying out loud exactly what I’m doing: “I’m picking up the bag of cat food…walking towards the dish… (don’t step on the cat)… pouring a small amount of food in the dish…oh no, I missed and it’s in the water side” and the owner hands me my evaluation with the word ‘FAIL’ at the top and he or she points me to the door without saying a word, just shaking his or her head. I leave with my head hanging low.

Maybe they heard about that time I failed the interview to walk someone’s dog in town…I didn’t pick up the shit the right way. I knew that would come back to haunt me.

So I ask, dear reader, is that normal? Is that the world we live in? That’s pretty sad.

In exactly a week we will be driving home. Home is where our family and friends live, where we grew up. I need this so bad. I’m jonesin for some familiar faces and places.

If something goes wrong and I have to pull the car myself, I will try and you will see my picture somewhere from someone’s cell with a caption about a crazy woman on the interstate and a rope attached to her vehicle. I can see it now, ending with me under the car somehow, saying to myself “that wasn’t such a good idea.”

You know what is a good idea? Apple cake. I had some apples begging to be used so I created this cake inspired by several recipes. You can add nuts and dried fruits; I added some leftover dried cherries and cranberries, plus golden raisins. None of this is required. Greg enjoyed the cake as his breakfast but if you serve it as a dessert, I would add ice cream or whipped cream or if you’re feeling frisky, both. Me-oww!

Apple Cake: inspired by a Food & Wine recipe
Serves 8

Ingredients:
¾ cup all purpose flour
¾ cup whole wheat flour (or just make with 1 ½ cups all purpose flour)
½ tsp salt
½ tsp baking soda
½ cup plus 2 tbsp canola or vegetable oil
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
2 medium apples (I used honeycrisp), peeled, cored and cut into ½ inch dice
¼ -½ cup raisins-optional
¼ cup dried cherries or cranberries-optional
1/2 cup toasted nuts (almonds, walnuts, pecans)-optional
4 tbsp butter, melted
2 tbsp heavy cream
½ tsp vanilla extract
whipped cream and/or ice cream-optional

Apple Topping:
2 tbsp butter
1 tbsp brown sugar
¼ tsp cinnamon
1 large apple, peeled, cored and cut into thin wedges or diced

Apple cake:
Preheat the oven to 325 and butter a 9-inch springform pan (or pan of your choice). In a medium bowl, combine flours, salt and baking soda. In a large bowl, whisk the oil and sugar, then add the eggs and whisk until smooth. Add the dry ingredients to the oil/sugar mixture and fold in the apple pieces. Add the raisins, dried fruit and nuts if you want them. Add the butter, cream and vanilla, stirring until combined. Add the mix to the pan and bake for 35 minutes or until it is still jiggly in the center and then add the apple topping but only if using a springform pan. Continue baking the cake for 25 or so minutes (until toothpick comes out clean) if not placing the topping until later. With apple topping on, place it back in the oven for another 20 to 25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean when inserted. (Wait to add the apple topping until you have removed the cake from your pan onto the serving dish if you are using another kind of pan.) While the cake is baking, you can prepare the topping. Allow cake to cool before taking it form the pan but do not let it cool completely before taking it from your pan or there will be a mess. Top with ice cream and/or whipped cream.

Apple Topping:
In a skillet or saucepan, over medium heat, melt the butter, cinnamon and brown sugar together until it begins to bubble slightly. Add the pieces of apple and sauté until soft, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and read directions above for placement of topping on cake.